i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
