No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
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My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
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Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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