ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
