garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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