yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
