No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
