the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
