I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
