I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
