About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
