And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
