Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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