i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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