A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
3pm strippers are depressing
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
