but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
