How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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