i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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