Pants 0. Shit 1.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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