Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
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last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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