we have pet lesbian snakes
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
