I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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