He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
