shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
