So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
