So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I've blown a few things in my day
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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