Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Barsexuality is the new black.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
