Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
