In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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