Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
