Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
