is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
