I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
