how can u be prego again
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
