hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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