nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i came on her dog
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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