dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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