This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
