In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
