The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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