I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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