There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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