1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I supernannyed him into submission
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
