Where are you?
In a non slutty way
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
