tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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