Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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