: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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