Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
