whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
