You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
