I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
