That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
