NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
