I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
