We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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