I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i love accidental penises.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
