my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
