Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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