Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
