You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
